It seems ages since I had typed anything worth reading in this blog. I myself still don't believe that I wrote what I wrote when I read my posts after a while. It seems that I myself don't think I write well. A big sign of low self esteem I wonder? ...
Where was I?
"posts worth reading"...right.
I remember when I first blogged, it was really gibberish, those daily logs of what I did everyday and so on and so forth. I felt that it wasn't me at all. Then I dabbled in short stories, well paragraphs really, because I don't consider them in the category of stories. I was amazed, again, at what I wrote, constantly prompting self reality checks. I admit, it was no masterpiece and who am I to judge a great literary piece?, but on the other hand, I thought it had flow, which is the most important thing in a story if I do say so myself. But somehow, after a year of excitement in wanting to write more "stories", the spark...the spark that goes off when you want to write that important scene,...it was gone. Just like that.
But then..
I was in New Zealand. I had things to write about, and people actually started reading my posts. It was a great feeling.
Being able to write about anything, feeling the flow of continuous thumps on the keyboard and not resorting to saving a post as a draft for later editing, is one of the most satisfying accomplishments I would say on a daily level. Its like getting your tasks done on schedule. Makes you feel you can sit back at the end of a tiring day, and fall asleep without knowing when you fell asleep because you have no worries in the world....
She was the reason I logged in to my dashboard, thinking its worthy to share.
She always thinks that she's the lucky one, but without sounding to much of a cliche', she has no idea that I am the one who is lucky. I see her constantly making the effort, everyday surprising me until I sometimes sit still, and thank god for the opportunity to have her in my life everyday. I count the days when we have that clarity and calm to build a life together. I pray to Allah that day will come soon.
Amin.
