Sunday, December 07, 2008

triggers

It was a combination of smells that trigger your senses. It was the chestnuts, the cigarette smoke, the smell of the trash, the smell of the streets. Being away, you take those smells for granted. To come across those smells again, would be finding home again. Those were smells of Kuala Lumpur, my birthplace, my home.

These thoughts came to mind when I was out the whole day with Kak Yang. I could never come across those smells if I was not walking on the streets of KL. The smells are far from pleasant, the diverse range of people also gives you a diverse range of attitudes, but these things make me further realize that I could never live anywhere else for the rest of my life. Kuala Lumpur has been tuned into my frequency, because this is where I have lived for most of my life. I'm sure there are many who would agree, and disagree, many articles written about KL that further emphasizes the notion that its not a perfect place by far, but it is still home now and forever.

The smell of the streets are just one trait that triggers KL in my mind, the way people live their lives, the way people drive on highways, the way everyone would know how to communicate, the way every Malaysian strives everyday to survive, and never gives up in our own way.


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i am an enigma, someone solve me !

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Yeah, its been a while...

If this blog were a closet, it would be filled with dust, and smell of things that have not been out of the closet for a long time. If this blog were a baby, it would already have learned to walk since the last time you saw the baby. All i'm trying to say, sorry if there are any who read this blog, and were wondering when the next post is, well this is it.

Laziness, or maybe thinking that there is nothing significant to write about was what kept me from adding to my collection of posts. I've been feeling weird these past months, and have yet found the cause or the defining moment that triggered me feeling that way.

To start off with, I am back in Malaysia, safe and sound and eating like there is no tomorrow. Malaysia is truly a hub for food, from cheap to expensive, but always there when you want it, at the time you want it. After almost 3 weeks back home, I still have places to eat that I have not crossed out on my list. I have still not gone all out though, out of fear of not being able to fit into my tailored pants.

Tailored pants, tailored suit, the main reason i'm back in Malaysia, my abang is getting married in less than 2 weeks time. The time has finally come for him to tie the knot. I have grown up idolizing my abang, my hero during my adolscent years, as many little brothers would do. I've watched him become the best man for his friends, as well as our cousins countless times, which makes "always the bridesmaid never the bride" befit him perfectly. But Alhamdulillah, its his time now, and I wish him and my new kakak to be, all the best and may god bless them always.

Two of my friends have commented that I have not changed one bit since the last time they saw me. I react only with a smirk, a grin, because I know myself better. Physically, yeah, they would be spot on, despite my efforts at the gym but then swindled when I stopped during ramadhan, which made me unchanged physically. Inside however, I would say that I have matured, in many ways than one. This year has been a discovery for me, a shift in paradigm, however slight shift it was, but definitely a shift.

My friends are unchanged, in essence, but most of them are now graduated and started jobs in thier respective professions. With that, comes more matured mentality, and all of us are now thinking of the next stage of life. Personality wise, they are the same old crew I grew to love and cry with, which I am thankful for.

I've been thinking of 2 specific days that made me feel calm, happy, appreciated and wanting to be there again and again. I'm thinking of the company I had on those two days, and wondering if the feeling was mutual. I sleep at night (or to be specific, the wee hours of the morning because thats when I get back from hanging out with the crew) always hoping I would end up dreaming of those 2 days.

Anyways, I will try to post more interesting stuff on a more frequent basis. Thanks to those that have told me to write more often because they like reading my posts (however boring and like a report it is..hehe), which gives me the confidence and will to keep writing. Till the next post.

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Sometimes a sincere smile is all a man needs to feel appreciated when things don't go his way and an act of selflessness as basic as offering tea in the morning makes a man feel loved.

Feelings were felt when things were done but not said. Hope is hopefully not yet shattered.